REBEL Q17:23

‘When you are screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they have given up on you.’ –Randy Pausch, an American Professor of Computer Science.

The other possibility when nobody talks, is that they are praying for you to fail and bury yourself. Rebelling often occurs in teenage years and young adulthood. It is at that time folks feel you are simply trying to renegade. (Older or younger than that, you are simply thought to be pig-headed and obstinate).

At that age, one tends to have a tech-savvy know-it-all air, filled with the swagger of youthful exuberance coupled with good health and good looks. There is also the impression that the older ones ‘just don’t get it.’

You are right. They just don’t get it; they are materialistic, archaic, annoying. However, it is also possible that they are simply looking out for you and considering your best interests. They are scared you’ll make the same mistakes they made and are lovingly trying to prevent you from making a mess of your life based on their life experiences. Every normal parent wants his child to succeed beyond him.


Most parents have sacrificed immensely for their children and it is sensible to expect to reward them with obedience and kindness. In fact, it is a major sin for a Muslim child to disobey his parents unless they advise him to do something wrong. Through our parents, we can attain Al-Jannah.

Abdullah bin Amr reported: A man said to the Prophet (SAW), ‘I pledge alliance to you for emigration and striving in the way of Allah, seeking reward.’ The Prophet (SAW) said: Are one of your parents living?
He said, ‘Yes, both of them.’ The Prophet (SAW) said, ‘Do you seek reward from Allah?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet (SAW) said, ‘Return to your parents and accord them benevolent treatment.’ Sahih Muslim 2549

Try to listen patiently to what they have to say and weigh your options. Neither you nor they know the future but of course you can take precautions. After all has been said and done, you and only you will live with the consequences of your actions; whether you decide to capitulate for the sake of peace or insist on the path you have chosen.

However, never forget that, for most of the part, your parents love you and do not wish you harm. Every time you disobey them, it hurts them. No matter the tension between you, accord them respect. Hopefully, this phase will pass and you will one day, all sit together and laugh about this episode of your lives. In sha Allah.

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2 thoughts on “REBEL Q17:23

  1. masha’Allah, beautiful advice! My parents aren’t Muslim and unfortunately neither are my children, but I always make dua that Allah will guide them all to His path. I was in my late 30’s when I became Muslim, so it’s never too late for anyone, insha’Allah. Barak Allah fiki!

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