REBEL Q17:23

‘When you are screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they have given up on you.’ –Randy Pausch, an American Professor of Computer Science.

The other possibility when nobody talks, is that they are praying for you to fail and bury yourself. Rebelling often occurs in teenage years and young adulthood. It is at that time folks feel you are simply trying to renegade. (Older or younger than that, you are simply thought to be pig-headed and obstinate).

At that age, one tends to have a tech-savvy know-it-all air, filled with the swagger of youthful exuberance coupled with good health and good looks. There is also the impression that the older ones ‘just don’t get it.’

You are right. They just don’t get it; they are materialistic, archaic, annoying. However, it is also possible that they are simply looking out for you and considering your best interests. They are scared you’ll make the same mistakes they made and are lovingly trying to prevent you from making a mess of your life based on their life experiences. Every normal parent wants his child to succeed beyond him.


Most parents have sacrificed immensely for their children and it is sensible to expect to reward them with obedience and kindness. In fact, it is a major sin for a Muslim child to disobey his parents unless they advise him to do something wrong. Through our parents, we can attain Al-Jannah.

Abdullah bin Amr reported: A man said to the Prophet (SAW), ‘I pledge alliance to you for emigration and striving in the way of Allah, seeking reward.’ The Prophet (SAW) said: Are one of your parents living?
He said, ‘Yes, both of them.’ The Prophet (SAW) said, ‘Do you seek reward from Allah?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet (SAW) said, ‘Return to your parents and accord them benevolent treatment.’ Sahih Muslim 2549

Try to listen patiently to what they have to say and weigh your options. Neither you nor they know the future but of course you can take precautions. After all has been said and done, you and only you will live with the consequences of your actions; whether you decide to capitulate for the sake of peace or insist on the path you have chosen.

However, never forget that, for most of the part, your parents love you and do not wish you harm. Every time you disobey them, it hurts them. No matter the tension between you, accord them respect. Hopefully, this phase will pass and you will one day, all sit together and laugh about this episode of your lives. In sha Allah.

NOiR: Parental Tuesday

[Qur’an in Ramadan 25:Q46.15-Q52.23]

I remember talking to a non-Muslim about the dynamics of a Muslim family and how the mother has the highest priority. She thought it was crappy because in her opinion, once a man marries a woman, they become one and none should be placed above her or allowed to interfere in their marriage.
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I explained to her that a good Muslim mother would not put herself in a position where the son would have to choose between her and his wife. He should know where she stands and the wife should help to remind him to fulfil his obligation to his parents especially the mother as ‘Paradise lies at her feet’. A true Muslim is obedient and respectful to his parents unless indicated otherwise.

In the light of this, let us dedicate today to our parents, both alive and late. Let us pray for them especially in all the prayers we perform today. Let us pray that Allah bless them, forgive them, grant them good health and longevity to eat from their fruits of labour. May their lives be pleasing to Him. If our parents are alive, let us remember to call them, care for them and show them patience and love. We can continue to pray for them, give charity or go for hajj on their behalf, if they are late.

Parenting is a huge responsibility and there is nothing we as children can do that is enough compensation for all they have done for us. It is our own duty to provide our own children with proper upbringing (tarbiya) likewise.

May Allah bless us parents everywhere.