Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar (RA), the Messenger of Allah(SAW) said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection . “- Sahih al-Bukhari 2442

I recently heard of a revert who would refuse to cover her hair and pray when she and her husband had a fight. I found it quite amusing, to put it mildly.

I often admire the bravery of reverts though, and I am easily impressed when they make a little effort because in my humble opinion, Islam is not the easiest of religions to follow especially with increasing global islamophobia.

So, I’ve got a question:

If you were a revert, what aspect(s) of Islam would you find the most difficult to inculcate?

I would love you to share your thoughts so that when next we see a revert striving to be better, we would appreciate them more, encourage them, correct them kindly and be less judgmental.



I had resumed work after taking a day off to renew my medical licence. The day started off on a good note because my patient (now friend) had delivered a baby girl overnight. I hurried to the postnatal ward to rejoice with her when I encountered the nurse on duty. She looked glum so I asked about our client and her baby. I was not prepared for the news I received.

I retraced my steps and asked the nurse to fill me in on the details. I had heard she delivered a baby girl in the early hours of the morning; what did she mean by, ‘We lost the baby’? It hurt twice as much because she had become a friend. I am usually stoic but when I finally went in to see her, my eyes welled up.

My dear friend was strong! She was consoling us not to feel bad, that her daughter was beautiful and had had a full head of hair. My heart shattered into a million pieces as I watched her smile while she comforted us. My dear friend was chockful of faith. Some of the nurses had to leave as they were in tears. This was a patient who had been admitted a couple of times because of a difficult pregnancy only for her not to get to return home with her trophy. Even her parents were in tears.

Abu Hassaan said: ‘I said to Abu Hurayrah: Two of my sons have died. Can you narrate to me any hadith from the Messenger of Allah (SAW) which will console us for our loss? He said: Yes; Their little ones are the little ones (da’aamees) of Paradise. When one of them meets his father – or his parents – he takes hold of his garment – or his hand – as I am taking told of the hem of your garment, and he does not let go until Allah admits him and his father to Paradise’. – Sahih Muslim 2635

Abu Hurairah (RA) reported that a woman came to Allah’s Apostle (SAW) with her child and said: Allah’s Apostle, invoke Allah’s blessing upon him for I have already buried three. He said: You have buried three! She said: Yes. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: You have, indeed, safeguarded yourself against the torment of Hell with a strong safeguard. Sahih Muslim 2636a

I really doubt that there can be a pain worse than that which a mother feels when she loses her child. Unfortunately, we do not allow mothers dwell on this. Instead, we urge them to move on and not dwell on it. It’s Allah’s Will. It is His Will, alright but they should be given the opportunity to grieve and heal. We should also provide our shoulders for them to cry on; to be available for them to talk, if need be. Here is a useful LINK.

May Allah reward their patience by reuniting them with their children in Al-Jannah.


With feathery steps, she walks the fields
Yearning her babes in the depth of night
She hears them cry – cry in pain
Her breasts are full and seek her twain.

She knows in her heart – knows it well
Her twins are alive. Yes, she can tell!
The doctors say they died at birth
What did they know? Yes, she said so!

Her lips tremble, her eyes glisten,
And tears stream down her cheeks sunken
Her clothes snag, but she presses on
Such love even for the stillborn.

-©Anchor with Keidi
10th October 2007.

CUSTOMER CARE Q55:60, Q99.07

Assalaam alaikum, dear readers and Juma’a mubarak! I hope you all are fasting this beautiful day of Ashura 😉 Here is today’s post, without further ado:

image credit: web.stemiliescps.wa.edu.au

image credit: web.stemiliescps.wa.edu.au

A man was receiving, from the doctor, the unfortunate news that his mum has just passed on when he observed someone mocking him. Two other doctors stood within the vicinity and laughed at a private joke but the distressed man was positive they were mocking his tragedy. He promptly went up to them and delivered a slap on the face of the male doctor in the duo.

I was a house officer doing my internship at the teaching hospital at the time and when the news got to us that one of us had been assaulted, we were stupefied! This was a well-mannered young man, a gentleman; he could not have been guilty of such callousness (and he was not). We wondered aloud what his seniors did to the patient’s relative in the doctor’s defence. The next day, we were ordered to down our tools and proceed on a demonstration. You see, the incident was being swept under the carpet because the assaulter was a relative of our Chief Medical Director. The man was confident his action was justified and nothing would come out of assaulting a doctor.

There are a great many people in these times of ours with this arrogance today. This attitude of entitlement and sheer rudeness has cost many employees their jobs. Yes, the ‘Customer is always right’ but that does not give us the right to treat people like dirt. The converse is also true.

In the teaching hospital, and like many government-owned hospitals in Nigeria, to say workload is immensely overwhelming is putting it mildly. Government hospitals are way cheaper than the private hospitals and also boast of professionals in more fields of specialty than the latter. As you can imagine, most of the staff are incredibly rude to the huge volume of patients they encounter. We often get away with this because the patients are often from low socioeconomic groups and poorly informed and unable to demand better service. Woe betide you if you DARE to demand better from the overworked nurses! You would regret that decision with every fibre of your being.

When I concluded my housemanship and left the teaching hospital, I had to learn to be more courteous with patients and their relatives. Empathy ans compassion came along the way when I realised how unfortunate people were and some simply could not afford healthcare. Unfortunately, we tended to mirror the seemingly arrogant attitude of our stressed superiors in the bigger hospitals.
As I began to look toward becoming self-employed, I paid better attention to the customer care providers and worked better on my approach both as a customer and a care-giver. It is incredibly selfish to take only your view as the most important. Everyone is fighting his battle, has his own problems and is trying to make it through a tough day without our unnecessary drama. Most significantly, when we don the robes of self-entitlement, we should remember that someone’s job and future may be on the line. We should channel that energy for destructive drama into improving the day of fellow humans.

Please, make an effort to be nicer to that waiter, salesperson, janitor, bus driver, house maid, subordinate from today. Ask them about their day and give small tokens of appreciation, if you can. If we need to address their (perceived) ineptitude, we should make an effort to cut them some slack and address the issue with maturity and firmness.

And if you are providing the service, make an effort to be nice to your customers (because this benefits your enterprise) and your subordinates, as well. We should defend them when the need arises instead of throwing them under the bus for the customer’s sake.

Spread a little kindness and brighten someone’s day today. Remember that we are all in this together and ‘what goes around, comes around’.


Assalaam alaykum, dear readers.

It is MUHARRAM, the first month of the Islamic Hijr calendar, again. It is a sunnah to fast on the (9th and) 10th of Muharram. This year 1437H, Tasu’a and Ashura fall on the 22nd and 23rd of October, 2015 so set your reminders 😉
UPDATE: I apologise for the error. Ashura was on Saturday the 24th of October, 2015. I missed it and I apologise if you missed it too. Allah knows our intentions.

May Allah accept our ibaadah. ❤


A young couple moved into a new neighbourhood. The next morning while eating breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbour through the window hanging the wash outside.

“That laundry is not clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap”.

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time the neighbour would hang laundry to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband,
“Look, she has learnt how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this!”

The husband replied, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.” – from message.snopes.com

And so it is with life.

What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. We see people as we are.

It is pretty easy to discuss other people, their lives and things that don’t really concern us – yet we tend to forget that our window isn’t that clean after all.

I got a call from a close friend who mentioned that she ran into a young man who knew me when we were at the University. He asked after me and shared something which had intrigued him. He said when we had worked together on the departmental student body association, I had gotten upset when he complimented me on my looks.

Now, I cannot even remember who he is, neither can I remember the incident; but I do find my reaction a tad weird. While I sincerely loathe when men cannot look beyond a pretty face but what happened to graciousness; witty wisecrack; skilful change of topic or even pretending I did not hear him? Anyway, maybe he was annoying when he said it but now, I know I would have done things differently.

Looking back with 20/20 hindsight, I had a couple of clashes with people (who didn’t?) because I was pretty headstrong and
opinionated; saw things in only black and white. May be I still am but I’ve begun to learn how important manners, tact and speech (or silence) can be. I also understand that there are a good many shades of grey and find myself making excuses for people and trying to understand their points of view. Alhamdulillah, I have a better relationship with many people I did not get on well with in the near past by realising my opinions are not always right and people correcting me are not necessarily ‘beefing’ me.

Of course, not everyone has valid criticisms but if we listen well enough, we should be able to discern constructive criticism from judgmental statements with malicious intent. On the other hand, we should not shy away from asking perceptive and intelligent people for advice and for their insight while prepared for the sting of feedback. We need to stop viewing all criticisms with suspicion. It takes guts to do that but we often become better for it.

So, you see? We really ought to get up and clean our windows more frequently and be open to accepting that the problem is not always them; sometimes, it is us.

IMPERFECTIONS Q3:161, Q31:34, Q82:5-8

When I was in primary school, we had extramural classes we used to attend in the neighbourhood after school. There, I met this boy who was my brother’s friend at the time.

I often viewed him with curiosity and awe because he had one normal arm and one shorter arm which looked like a stump to me. I often greeted him from afar but this day, he and my brother were having a discussion by the roadside so I finally asked him what happened to him.

He kindly explained to me that when he was even younger, living in the rural community, he had fallen from a tree and kept it to himself until he could no longer hide it. Eventually, his uncle found out and by then, it was too late to reunite the bones so he had to have the arm amputated above the elbow. It was a sad story but I had more questions brewing in my mind that I was mentally debating whether or not to ask. Then he touched me with the arm and…

I shrank back in revulsion, screamed and ran all the way home!

Honestly, I was totally horrified that such an appendage could move! The poor boy kept laughing at my retreating back!

People with deformities or impairments can seem like ‘freaks’ to the ‘normal’ population but it definitely doesn’t stop them from being human. Allah created us all as He wished and permitted some unfortunate incidents to happen to some of us that altered our normalcy but He knows best why these occurred.

image credit: blog.onbeing.org

image credit: blog.onbeing.org

I have no doubt that we will all be reunited in Al-Jannah as better versions of ourselves with the definition of ‘normal’ being broader than what it is on Earth. The imperfections we possess would certainly not matter as much in such a beautiful accepting world.

The Prophet (SAW) was said to have berated his companions when they made jest about Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (R.A.) because of his spindle-like legs and he was also close to Ibn Umm Maktum (R.A.) who was visually impaired. These were people who were outliers in the Arab population but they had the ears of the Prophet (SAW) and were appreciated for their contributions to the growth of Islam.

From the people with Down’s Syndrome, autism, dyslexia, cerebral palsy and a myriad of rare unpronounceable syndromes to those with injuries that have left them deformed, they are simply humans with human needs like you and me. They deserve to be shown love, kindness and respect (unless otherwise proven).

Could it be a failing on our part that to assimilate them into our lives that makes us label them ‘abnormal’? Is it because we think that we fall within the average human population that we make this conclusion? Perhaps, we would be the ‘abnormal’ ones if we took a census of all the people with oddities and rarities (like freckles, moles, big noses, scanty hair, short stature, overweight, squint, bad skin etc.) irrespective of colour or gender only to realise that they outnumber us. Or, we could actually even find ourselves among them!

There is no reason for people to be ostracized based on their physical or mental qualities over which they have little to no control. We should simply make room for them to live habitably with the rest of the population.

Lastly, if you do have a blemish or the other, remember that it does not matter to Allah. What matters is what your hands put forth. So, love yourself and keep your chin up!

May Allah forgive us for all our shortcomings for we are all in need of His forgiveness.