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WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?

Been busy, that’s what. Truth is, i started blogging because I had a lot of time on my hands and a lot of thoughts in my head. I still have those thoughts, but not so much time.
clocking
I’ve been working on a project, a new one, while trying to finally complete an old one. These projects will affect my future directly. I hope. In sha Allah.

So, I’m sorry for the tumbleweed and dust and cobwebs covering my blog. I’ll be with you all soon. In sha Allah 🙂

Ibn Mas’ud narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:
“The feet of the son of Adam shall not move from before his Lord on the Day of Judgement, until he is asked about five things: about his life and what he did with it, about his youth and what he wore it out in, about his wealth and how he earned it and spent it upon, and what he did with what he knew.”

Just keep being patient with me and permit me to use my youth effectively! 😉

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WEEKDAY CHALLENGE: Deed of the Day Q41.46

A’isha (R.A.) reported:
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) …used to say: Do as many deeds as you are capable of doing, for Allah will not become weary (of giving you reward), but you would be tired (of doing good deeds) ; and he also said: The deed liked most by Allah is one to which the doer adheres constantly even if it is small.- Sahih Muslim 782

Do you notice how surprised some people seem when you perform an unexpected act of kindness to them? Ever detected the question in people’s eyes when you behave considerately like they are wondering what you’ll benefit from your gesture? Have you observed the amazed look on their visage when they notice you are a Muslim being kind to a non-Muslim like it’s a rarity? This is because kindness is rapidly becoming extinct.

Here are some ways we can revive the flagging spirit of humanity:

• Removing a stone or stick out of the way which may harm someone
• Allowing another driver right of way as we drive
• Smiling and saying salaam first; responding to the greeting
• Visit someone at home, in boarding school, at NYSC camp, the hospital, prison, orphanage, anywhere your visit will be appreciated. Don’t you dare go empty-handed!
• Send an inspirational text to the Muslims on your phone
• Call your family members
• Send someone a recharge card
• Share your lunch or buy someone one
• Call your subordinates by name and ask about their families
• Give a hand to someone carrying or lifting a load
• Help pick fallen books, keys or other items. And no! Not only because you have a crush on him/her!
• Tip the messenger who just served you
• Pay the bus fare/ticket for a stranger
• Hold the door for someone behind you
• Help a child, the blind or a senior citizen cross the road
• Give someone a lift to the gate, bus-stop, masjid…
• Hold the elevator for someone rushing to get it
• Allow someone join the queue in front of you
• Return misplaced items or declare them found
spread love kindness

This list is by no means, exhaustible.

These acts may be small but are significant both to the person we are kind to and especially on our scale of deeds. We may, by these little efforts, plant beautiful thoughts in people’s minds toward Islam and leave behind wonderful memories of their encounter with a Muslim. That single positive act (amongst others) may be what will tilt that individual to seek out the truth in Islam.

Like the hadith above mentioned, we should strive toperform these acts consistently, no matter how small they seem.

May Allah guide us all and may we not be led astray after being guided. May He not let us tire easily of doing good.

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10 DAYS Q 6.162; Q9.36; Q89.1-3


The final month in the Islamic Calendar will be here soon, in sha Allah and it is one of the sacred months.

There are a number of recommended acts during these days because they have been selected by Allah as the best days in the Islamic year.

Narrated Ibn Abbas, the Prophet (SAW) said: No good deeds done on other days are superior to those done on these (first ten days of Dhul Hijjah).
Then some companions of the Prophet (SAW) asked, ‘Not even jihad?’ He replied: Not even jihad, except that of a man who does it by putting himself and his property in danger (for Allah’s sake) and does not return with any of those things. – Sahih Bukhari 969

Here is a list to help:
Pilgrimage: Fulfilling the 5th pillar of Islam for those who can afford and are capable of undertaking the journey would be the best act of ibaadah during these first 10 days of Dhul Hijjah
Fasting (for non-pilgrims): This is another recommended act during the first 9 days of the month. It is not an obligatory fast so ladies, remember to inform your husband of your intention to fast. The fast can also be limited to the 9th only – the Day of Arafah
Reciting tasbeeh, tahmeed, tahleel and takbeer : that is Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, laailahailallah, Allahu akbar.
Sincere repentance.
Adhkaar
: Everyone can join in. No pregnancy, breastfeeding or illness as an excuse 🙂
Read Al Qur’an
• Giving Charity
• Nawafil and Tahajjud
• Pray Eid in congregation
: on the Day of Eid.
Udhiya: After salatul Eid on Day 10, if you can afford it. The meat should be consumed by the family, neighbours and distributed to the poor. For those intending to perform the sacrifice, avoid cutting your hair, or beard and clipping your nails until after the sacrifice.

Umm Salma reported the Messenger of Allah (SAW) as saying:If anyone of you intends to offer sacrifice, then he should not get his hair cut or nails trimmed.- Sahih Muslim 1977

May we make the most of the coming days, in sha Allah.

UPDATE: Saudi Authorities have declared tomorrow (25th Sept. 2014) as the 1st of Dhul Hijjah 1435H so Eid-ul-Adha will be on 4th Oct. 2014 in sha Allah.

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WHITE FLAG Q24.22, Q41.34-6

We have all fought before, whether it was a full-fledged brawl or the Silent Treatment. We are all human with different characters bound to rub off wrongly and cause friction; what matters is how the fight ends. Do we often blow our lids and throw a tantrum only to forget about the incident the next minute? Or do we quietly stew in fury harbouring resentment long after the incident vowing never to help again?
white_flag
Whichever way, some of us are particularly guilty of refusing to forgive any slight wrongdoing, even after an apology. In fact, an apology seems to worsen the situation and makes it harder to forgive the culprit because we feel the person acted intentionally. We document both the perpetrator and the incident in indelible black ink in the black book at the back of our minds refusing to let go and forgive.

NEWSFLASH! We hurt ourselves more by harbouring such resentment. We erode our inner beauty and morph into pitifully hard, bitter creatures then cannot seem to understand why people don’t like us. Who likes someone who emits such an evil aura, a negative vibe?

WHO DO WE THINK WE ARE seeking forgiveness from Allah when we cannot forgive others?

Jubair ibn Mut’im (R.A.) narrated that he heard the Prophet (SAW) of Allah (SAW) say, ‘The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise.’ Sahih Bukhari 5984

Let’s ensure that we end that feud today – particularly if it is with a relative. Go ahead and wave that white flag.

Juma’a Mubarak!

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COLOUR CHILDHOOD BEAUTIFUL Q4:127, Q16:71

‘The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.’ – Abigail Van Buren

Another quote talks about a man’s behaviour being determined by how he treats his inferiors.

In the last couple of posts, I talked about how difficult it can be for some women to conceive. Even if you have not experienced labour pains without anaesthesia, consider that it is described as most profound.

Now, ponder on this? Would any sane mother willingly give her child out to unknown or scarcely-known people to bring him/her up? If not for the worsening economy and escalating poverty, I really doubt that any caring mother would willingly give out her child to be a maid or labourer. Quite a number of these kids actually have these decisions made by guardians after being orphaned.

In the light of this, I ask us (especially women) why we treat these children like they are mere animals. Whether employed as maids in our parents’ house or in our husband’s home, the story of abuse is often the same. Simply because we are responsible for their upkeep and have paid a pittance to their guardians, we believe we own them and treat them like slaves, or animals. Most times, they transfer the way we treat them on our dependants, our possessions and the work they do for us. Worse still is that they often live up to our evil expectations of them.

By no means are all maids good. I know that. However, once they possess a vice we feel we cannot tolerate, the honourable thing to do is to return them to their families. There are tales of maids who will seduce your husband or father, of those who will eat your children’s meals and starve them instead, of maids who will use your house as a brothel in your absence, of those who are accomplices in kidnapping your children, or burgling your house. Pray that Allah does not bring such people you way.


Whichever maid you get, treat her humanely until she proves she deserves to be treated otherwise. Then, rather than stoop to her level, persuade her to change her ways or return her to where she came from. Respect her and let your kids do the same. Help her to experience a childhood of colour. Do not starve her or burn her hands in the stove flames, do not refuse her medical treatment or proper clothing, don’t punish her unduly or expose her to sexual abuse.

If they are orphans and we raise them well and educate them, who knows? We may attain Paradise through them.

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TRUE STORY Q2.235, Q4.24-5, Q17.31-2, Q24.3


Narrated ‘Abdullah, I asked the Prophet (SAW), ‘What is the greatest sin in the Sight of Allah?’ He said, ‘That you set up a rival unto Allah though He Alone created you.’ I then asked, ‘What is next?’ He said, ‘To kill your son lest he should share your food with you.’ I asked, ‘What is next?’ He said, ‘To commit illegal sexual intercourse with the wife of your neighbour.’ Sahih Bukhari Book 65, Hadith 4517

I had an encounter with a patient in an IVF (in-vitro fertilization) centre. She had had one-too-many induced abortions for her husband-to-be prior to their marriage. She conceived again just before the wedding but they decided to terminate the pregnancy again because they are Muslims and did not want to ‘give a bad impression of pregnancy outside wedlock.’

Fast-forward to a couple of years later, she is in our clinic seeking to get pregnant. The same husband who was encouraging her to abort earlier and perhaps financing the procedures, was nowhere to be seen. He had fathered a child with another woman, physically and emotionally abuses his wife and does everything within his might to provoke her to leave. She refuses to leave because she is now in her 40’s, still childless with nowhere to go.


If you are in a relationship with a fornicator who is trying to rope you into sin, be rest assured that his fornication will not stop with you. Why rope yourself into such a future? Are you an adulteress too?

Fornication and adultery are sins on their own but exacerbating it with killing the foetus is plainly digging our grave. Times are hard, without a doubt. Nurturing children we are not prepared for can be a daunting challenge but the maxim ‘Prevention is better than cure’ holds sway here too. If prevention fails, know that it is what Allah (SWT) has ordained so let it be.

Abstinence may be hard, particularly with someone you intend to get married to, but Islam has taken various steps to nip premarital intimacy in the bud (hijab, lowering our gazes, avoiding co-mixing and intoxicants, travelling with a mahram, no dating etc). The world may have changed since 1400 years ago but if we make sincere effort and exercise restraint, Allah will strengthen us and make it easier, in sha Allah.

We are much stronger than we imagine.

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IMAN EBB Q5.93

iman decline
I do not know about men but an ebb in iman is pretty common amongst us women. We complete our period and have difficulty returning to worship. We’ve just finished our post-natal bleeding and have to struggle to fast n pray. During PMS, we simply feel off. Pregnancy and its discomforts discourage us from waking up for Fajr. Pregnancy or breastfeeding may prevent us from enjoying the iman rush of Ramadan. During salaah, we struggle to concentrate and would rather just curl up on the prayer rug and cry or sleep.

We feel hurt by our spouses, in-laws, children, co-workers and simply lose interest. We lose interest in reading the Qur’an and in performing good deeds. We couldn’t care less about properly covering up when a male guest comes in. The kids haven’t prayed yet but are playing football in the yard yet we can’t be bothered to remind them. Heck, we are tired of the scheduled lives we live and couldn’t care less! Sitting on a couch in our pajamas and bingeing on chocolate-chip cookies and burgers while watching season re-runs back-to-back or a marathon session of telenovelas would be the most enjoyable things to do at that moment.

During these periods when our iman declines, how do we get back on track?

• Revisit your intentions. Why do you do good deeds? For Allah’s Pleasure or to be seen among men?
• What do you do wrong that has been niggling at you that you need to desist from?
• In what ways do you feel unfulfilled? Is there something making you feel a failure? Islam, family, work, finances? Look for solutions to move you closer to your goals but don’t fail to prioritise according to Allah, family, finances/work.
• Is it a temporary change in routine that’s responsible (monthly period, a new baby, a guest, festivities, new job, job loss, death, divorce)?

  • Or, conversely, are you tired of the boring routine your life is?

    Here are a few ways to get out of the doldrums (doldrums, don’t you just enjoy that word!):

    • If you are like me, go to a bookstore and get a really nice book you’ve always wanted to read. Curl up with it in your favourite spot at home with your favourite (non-alcoholic) beverage.
    • Treat yourself to some me-time. Go for a drive alone and pray under the sky. Lie down on your prayer rug afterwards and enjoy the world around you. Indulge in a meal and eat it all up in the privacy of your car or alone in the restaurant. Do your hair, manicure, pedicure, go shopping with your best friend or sister but don’t spend the whole day. Remember your salaah and other responsibilities.
    • Instead of cooking tonight, take the family out for dinner and a movie.
    • Start a hobby or learn something new.
    • If you are tired of the routine, shake things up a little. Tweak your dull schedule.
    • Read, listen to and deliberate upon the Qur’an. Try to understand and act upon it. Memorise your favourite verses.
    • Stick to the compulsory acts of worship. Pray extra naflah or Tahajjud (voluntary night prayer) in a private corner. Talk to Allah about whatever it is that bothers you and that He draws you closer to Him. If a domestic or official problem troubles us, let us take it to Allah. After Ishai or before Fajr, when everyone is asleep is usually a good time (if we can summon up the energy to pull ourselves up by our shoelaces).
    • Do good deeds in private, strictly for Allah’s Pleasure.
    • Go for lectures, and classes to make you feel closer to people with better iman.

    The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A faithful believer to a faithful believer is like the bricks of a wall, enforcing each other.” While (saying that) the Prophet (ﷺ) clasped his hands, by interlacing his fingers. – Sahih Bukhari 481

    • Make du’a every time you remember especially if your routine has been shaken up by travel, sickness, festivities etc. Make a routine within the chaos and pray on time even if you don’t feel like it and your attention keeps shifting.
    • Go out for a picnic or to the mosque with your family. No one makes you laugh out loud like family. Focus on making them happy today instead of yourself. They’ve probably begun to feel the strain of your receding iman.
    • Exercise. Just that vibrant beating of your heart can make you exhilarated.
    • Travel. If you can.
    • Be patient. This is a test and it will pass, in sha Allah.

    DO NOT:
    • Listen to sad mushy music or waste ALL your time with multiple movies or empty surfing of the internet or retail shopping. You will feel worse eventually.
    • Don’t tackle it alone but don’t broadcast it either. Share your problem with a friend or relation who cares for you.
    • Don’t feel like a sinner. Your iman is in the right place for you to worry about its decline. Do not neglect the compulsory acts of worship.
    • Don’t fling it all away or make rash decisions during this time like stopping the hijab, cutting your hair, shaving off the beard, losing your virginity or leave the deen.
    • Don’t give up by listening to Shaytan’s whispers as he wants you to slip beyond redemption during this vulnerable period of your life. Avoid committing sins that will widen the gap you feel between you and Allah.

    However:

    If it persists, and you become increasingly tearful, persistently lacking in motivation, or find previously enjoyable activities no longer pleasurable, low sex drive, feel worthless and suicidal or these moods interfere with your daily life and relationships; it could be clinical depression. It is pretty common and very treatable, so see a doctor.