Phew! Feels great to be back here! *dancingalittlejig*

I apologise for the long break, wonderful faithful readers. I thought of blogging many times but I just couldn’t afford the rent of my online abode for a while now. And my laptop seems most offended by my desertion that she has been giving me a hard time too! I guess I deserve it 😀

Alhamdilillah, the break has been mercifully cut short by someone I used to have a love-hate relationship with back in the University about a decade ago. It is amazingly merciful who Allah picks to help you up. If someone had said back then that we would be friends today, we would probably have given the person a sidelong glance and walked away in disgust. Yeah, our relationship was pretty turbulent in the past but I guess we have both matured.

image credit: physics.stackexchange.com

image credit: physics.stackexchange.com

I am immensely grateful to have been helped back up by Allah through RuqRaj (as I saved her name on my phone). Allah used her to bring the sun back to this blog which had been covered in cobwebs. May Allah reward you as He knows best with an overflowing abundance of good! Jazakillah khayran katheeran for your persistent encouragement.

It is also a reminder that what was once sour can become sweet and what was once delicious can become bitter with just a whisper from Allah ‘Be!’ and it is. May Allah sweeten our lives with Iman.

My yummy sister, my personal cheerleader, my one and only Bismama! Thank you for your selflessness and immense wonderfulness! Jazakillah khayr aplenty too 😀

Many thanks also go to Sister Papatia who tried to cajole me out with an award despite my absence and Abu Amirah who also reached out to me. May Allah and your loved ones never forget you.

So! *clappingmyhandsexcitedly* We’re back in business but permit me to do some cleaning and I will be ready in a few days to welcome you back into my online home. Thank you for not unsubscribing and deleting my address off your reader.

Hope you will be back in a few days. Please, do drop by for a visit then. I will be honoured to have you.



‘The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.’ – Abigail Van Buren

Another quote talks about a man’s behaviour being determined by how he treats his inferiors.

In the last couple of posts, I talked about how difficult it can be for some women to conceive. Even if you have not experienced labour pains without anaesthesia, consider that it is described as most profound.

Now, ponder on this? Would any sane mother willingly give her child out to unknown or scarcely-known people to bring him/her up? If not for the worsening economy and escalating poverty, I really doubt that any caring mother would willingly give out her child to be a maid or labourer. Quite a number of these kids actually have these decisions made by guardians after being orphaned.

In the light of this, I ask us (especially women) why we treat these children like they are mere animals. Whether employed as maids in our parents’ house or in our husband’s home, the story of abuse is often the same. Simply because we are responsible for their upkeep and have paid a pittance to their guardians, we believe we own them and treat them like slaves, or animals. Most times, they transfer the way we treat them on our dependants, our possessions and the work they do for us. Worse still is that they often live up to our evil expectations of them.

By no means are all maids good. I know that. However, once they possess a vice we feel we cannot tolerate, the honourable thing to do is to return them to their families. There are tales of maids who will seduce your husband or father, of those who will eat your children’s meals and starve them instead, of maids who will use your house as a brothel in your absence, of those who are accomplices in kidnapping your children, or burgling your house. Pray that Allah does not bring such people you way.

Whichever maid you get, treat her humanely until she proves she deserves to be treated otherwise. Then, rather than stoop to her level, persuade her to change her ways or return her to where she came from. Respect her and let your kids do the same. Help her to experience a childhood of colour. Do not starve her or burn her hands in the stove flames, do not refuse her medical treatment or proper clothing, don’t punish her unduly or expose her to sexual abuse.

If they are orphans and we raise them well and educate them, who knows? We may attain Paradise through them.

NOiR: Ramadan Reverts

[Qur’an in Ramadan 28:Q67.1-Q77.50]

Most of us know a Ramadan revert or two. Those ‘nominal’ Muslims who suddenly awake from a deep slumber, pull themselves out of the gutter, clean up their acts, abandon cigarettes, womanising, alcohol and clubbing during the fasting hours or throughout Ramadan but return rapidly to their decadence after Eid prayers.

These are people who draw gasps from their friends who didn’t even know they are Muslim. We might know a ‘hip’ sister who donned the large overhead abaya which we were surprised to know that she even owned. Or that ‘cool’ brother who sags his jeans and is well-known by the club crew but who has been on ‘Itikaf for the past week. What happened to the fake nails, eyelashes, hair, overwhelming make-up, perfume and excessive flirting, we wonder. Who is this alien that has replaced our Muslim brother or sister?

Instead of counting down for them to revert to their old ways, we should acknowledge instead that they stopped their previous acts for the sake of Allah and out of obedience to Him. Even if it is only in Ramadan. We should be in awe of the grip Allah has on their hearts even when they strayed from His Path.

If anything, we Muslims should rejoice they decided to adopt the practice of Islam for a month. We should meet them and see how they can continue to practise full-time. We should discourage others from taunting them but instead, help them to enjoy the sweetness of obedience to Allah.

Perhaps, by doing this, encouraging instead of disparaging, they will become permanent Muslims, and not only in Ramadan.

May Allah keep their hearts (and ours) steadfast.



Although I am a medical doctor, I hate visiting the sick in the hospital and staying long. I just worry that I am burdening the patient with my stay and would rather do a quick check-in and –out. I am also uncomfortable staying long at people’s houses for a visit. It feels like extending my handshake to the elbow. As a woman, I am aware of the hoops women jump through to make their guests comfortable at their own expense and it seems unfair to take full advantage of that.

We should not visit people unannounced unless we are extremely familiar with them. There is really no excuse why anyone will suddenly drop by in this era of cell-phones, free emails, text messages and instant messaging. This will give your host time to prepare and possibly purchase or cook/bake what to host you with. Not all homes are fully-stocked 24/7.

As much as is possible, a non-mahram male should not spend the night in the house of a couple. It inconveniences the woman who has to observe her hijab in your presence. Her house is her sanctuary, somewhere she can let her hair down and dress down. You ruin this tranquillity for her particularly when you prolong your stay; her only reprieve limited to her bedroom. Between the inconveniences of a tropical temperature and special times like breastfeeding, her hospitality can quickly turn to hostility.

Fellow women who travel with their toddlers need to be mindful of them. We should not leave them to run amok, destroy appliances, break dishes, defecate or urinate indiscriminately, and leave food crumbs in their trail. Pick up after your children.

We should also endeavour not to make a nuisance of ourselves by staying out late, disrupting the peace in the house by playing loud music or having noisy friends over. Destroying property in their houses is also a big no-no.

Narrated Abu Shuraih Al-Ka’bi quoted Allah’s Messenger (SAW) as saying: Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously. The guest’s reward is to provide him with a superior type of food for a night and a day and a guest is to be entertained with food for three days, and whatever is offered beyond that is regarded as charity. And it is not lawful for a guest to stay with the host for such a long period so as to put him in a critical position. – Sahih Bukhari 6135

Also try to involve yourself in helping around the house and following the house rules. Take your dish to the kitchen and wash it, preferably. Clean up after yourself and make your bed. Assist by taking the children off their parents’ hands by playing with them or helping with their homework.

Do not pry into their affairs particularly if they are a couple and unless your advice is sought, or it is absolutely necessary, keep most of your thoughts to yourself. Do not take sides without listening to both sides of the story.

When preparing to leave, inform your hosts ahead of time so they can accommodate dropping you off at the airport or car park, into their plans.

As the host(ess), we are duty-bound to treat our guests kindly. Having snacks, some juice or cake handy can save us embarrassment when friends pop in unannounced. We should be patient and accommodating and try to involve our guests in our activities if they are staying for long. Time should be set aside daily to converse with them no matter how tight our schedule is.

And when they leave, we should see them to the door and try not to make our relief obvious!

So, who do you plan to visit this weekend?