FLIP IT AROUND Q16:90

I used to write in my diary journal, or listen to music to quell my anger in my late teenage years. After a while, I moved to nasheed (Muslim songs) to return to my happy self; no time to indulge in writing. Soon, I did not have the luxury of easily removing myself from the object of my fury as I got older. I learned to contain my anger and ruminate on it after I left the environment. I would stew in resentment and consider all the witty retorts I should have given – retorts I would have regretted anyway. This would upset me further and I would look for someone unfortunate to dump my emotions on.

anger insideout

I know listening to the Qur’an and making adhkaar is laudable but they do not appeal to me when I am well and truly pissed incensed. Now I have learnt to channel my emotions.

After removing myself from the scene, I have to find somewhere or someone to vent to. Secondly, after ruminating on the offense,  I consider whether or not to confront the person; oftentimes, I decide against it. Thirdly, I channel my grievances to Allah. I am fuelled by the anger to read more Qur’an, pray with better zeal, make extra nawafil etc so that Allah can answer my prayers to overcome the oppression I feel.

So, the source of my ire becomes my inspiration and motivation to be better 🙂

Side effect: It takes longer for me to forget even if I have forgiven. Hmm…still working on the right formula for me.

Any suggestions?

PS: I know I have an early post on anger but then, it’s easier said than done 😉

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16 thoughts on “FLIP IT AROUND Q16:90

    • I am the silent type too, with a war raging on the inside when I’m angered. I avoid confrontation as much as I can for peace sake but sometimes, people interpret it to mean am timid 🙂

      I am glad you commented, dear AZ. That’s good enough!

      Like

  1. I’ve have the same problem. I haven’t found a great release for my anger, either I keep it in or explode. I try to go to a different room or outside where I can be alone when I’m angry so I don’t cause any problems but this isn’t the greatest solution. Your suggestions sound better 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. wasilah keshinro says:

    Am sure this beautiful story would help us all unwind.Translation of Urdu lecture by Moulana Tariq Jameel.  

    I was at the airport when a youngster asked me for a Wazifah to put his love into the hearts of people. 
    I said, “son, there is no wazifah but I will tell u what to do.
     Control this tongue. Don’t say anything that hurts someone & secondly remove people’s malice from ur tongue/heart.  
    No matter who it is, forgive them regardless.  
    Whoever oppresses u, say; ‘ go u have been forgiven, who are u to compensate me, I will ask Allah. ‘. 
    If u do these 2 things, then Allah will put ur love even in the most dangerous of creatures. ”

    If u have a harsh tongue, then the whole night’s Tahajud & the whole day’s fast will neither take u closer to Allah or the people. 
    The wife, children, brothers will all hate u. 

    I will tell u a Hadith of Nabi Kareem sallallaahu alayhi wasallam, 
    “Abu Dharr, shall I not tell u 2 things which do not require much effort ( no long walking, no Summer fasts, no walking Haj, no Tahajud). There is no physical effort but the reward is so great that I swear by the One in whose hands my life is in, that whoever does these two things, there will be no one like this person in the court of Allah.”
    Abu Dharr رضي الله عنهsaid, “Oh Messenger of Allah, what is that?”
    The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wasallam said, ” Firstly to safeguard the tongue & secondly to perfect the character. ”

    The one who controls his tongue, 90 % of good character falls into his hands anyway. That leaves 10% which can be obtained by a little extra effort. 

    I have been saying for the 15 years, ” Oh brothers, make ur tongues sweet, clean ur hearts from the hatred of people. Then u will see the love of Allah & the people. “

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Masha’Allah, I love this hadith offered by sister Wasilah, too! I have trouble in this area, although I am not usually the one to say something disrespectful to the one I am angry with, but… lol, I march up to my roof and water my plants and vent all my anger out loud where no one can hear me… then I make so much istaghfir, and dhikr until I feel much better. Alhamdulillah, this helps me alot. but I will keep it inmy mind, insha’Allah, to improve. btw I love the nasheeds very much, too, they are wonderful company when I want to do other things (like beading!)

    Allah guide us all to improve, ameen! ;^) ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anger is a natural human emotion. I believe that it stems from fear and selfishness — we want things to go our way. The antidote to anger is forgiveness and compassionate action (or inaction). I personally pray and meditate. It allows me to be more flexible and tolerant. I also journal and I have a daily writing exercise to focus on gratitude and looking for the good. It helps!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi,

    I am so glad that I read this. I was angry yesterday.

    Lagos traffic can invoke anger in even the most mild-mannered person. Last night, on my way home from work, a careless driver did something so unnecessary and all he had to offer me was an empty apology. As if sorry was going to pay for my car repair.

    I was very angry because I felt so helpless. When I got home, my mother told me to learn to let things go, but sometimes, I feel like I am entitled to my anger.

    I want to wallow in it until it passes naturally, so that later I don’t dwell on what I should have said or done when the moment has already passed. That way it is easier for me to forget. 😀

    Unfortunately, the tongue becomes pumped full of toxic steroids when anger possesses one. I want to learn to pray to God during those moments so that I don’t say things that I’ll later regret. But sometimes, it’s so hard. Lol

    Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

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