BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS

I am undecided about birthdays.

I used to think I was ambivalent but I am not.

Even as I type this, I am not sure what my opinion is about birthdays. I know what I don’t like about how people choose to celebrate theirs but I don’t know if I like birthdays or not.

When I was a kid, the anniversary of the day I was born always fell during the long summer break so I never had my mates sing to me while standing in front of the class, ready to slice a birthday cake. It was celebrated very minimally in our house with my mum, dad and siblings singing to be in Daddy’s room. Then my parents would hand me a beautiful card (maybe with a gift), give us some biscuits and sweets and that was it! At least, for me – who couldn’t celebrate in school.

When I got to the University though, I was forced/convinced/obligated to entertain my hungry friends every birthday I had. I did not really mind that. It was quite fun, except for the dishes we had to attend to afterwards.

Then I got married and my in-laws love to celebrate each birthday with elaborate cooking, popping non-alcoholic wine and uploading pictures on Facebook. I really did not mind that (except for the music).

Now, with kids on my tail and the hassle it takes to throw a party (plus my husband doesn’t seem much into celebrating), I honestly can’t be bothered about celebrating mine. Or it may just be what a friend of mine postulated: I am getting old!

That said, I really appreciate birthday calls, texts, cards and gifts because I honestly am surprised people remember at all. It really touches me that without me hinting on social media sites, my friends remember. I loathe reminding people of my birthday and would rather it passes quietly without a fuss.

Another thing is that, I feel obligated to get you something for your birthday (or your kid’s birthday) if I am aware and I can, particularly if we work together or we are friends.

I don’t think first birthday celebrations are even necessary because the child cannot remember it. It seems compulsory though because everyone will insist you do it since the kids will grow up to see the pictures, I guess.

It is tempting to think that it is because of Islam but I really don’t think am so convinced birthdays are bad islamically.

Please be my shrink and share your thoughts.

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS

  1. Saalamu ahlaykum!:D Awesome Read! Jazzak Allah hukheir!:) In regards to celebrating birthdays this video convinced me to not celebrate them I don’t tell anyone to do anything for me on my birthday even though everyone send happy B-day wishes and tries to send me something they all know my stance on it but it can be difficult at times when your invited to your nieces/nephews birthday parties and you end up having to bring a gift but in those moments you just have to be patient with some ppl and let Allah guide them. Hope this helps in Shaa Allah and can you please write an article on tips on what to write about in your blog, how to make a routine schedule to stay consistent in keeping it updated, and how to write short yet interesting pieces I have such big issues with that on my blog. Jazzak Allah hukheir.:)

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PcyZPgVh4Mk

    Like

  2. Thanks for your comment and the shared link, Amana.
    About the blogging tips, I wish I had enough information to proffer to fill up a blog post. I am also new to blogging (7 months so far).
    With the schedule, even I have difficulty meeting my target of 5 times a week.
    Before I began blogging, I had made up my mind about the length of my posts because I realise people do not like long winding posts. Frankly, I don’t either – unless it is really an interesting narrative. But what seems interesting to you while writing may not feel so to your readers so I like to keep it short – as much as I can.

    Liked by 1 person

    • No, Thank YOU. I just realised I omitted the question on topics. My topics come from daily occurences, thoughts, other blogs, reading a translation of the qur’an etc.
      I have a question for you: Kids tend to bring home party packs from birthdays celebrated in school. Would you dissuade your child/ward from bringing such gift packs home or you would allow them?

      Liked by 1 person

      • I wouldnt tell my child not to bring those packs home as long as they don’t have gelatin in it lol. It’s not my fault my child had to be part of that celebration,but I would want them to enjoy their childhood and still know their place when it comes to matters of the religion and gradually introduce it into them. For example, birthday cake to no birthday cake or maybe replace those celebrations with celebrations of their accomplishments. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Salam, I think it depends on the person and how they were raised. My Birthday also is in the summer time but my parents made a huge deal about them. When I was 7 that was the last “party” we had for me (mostly my relatives would come not friends). After that my parents would say that on my day I chose what the family did. They would still sing me the Spanish Birthday Mariachi song and wake me up at 5am. They my parents would always remind me the time I was born. Now that I’m married my husband really doesn’t celebrate birthday’s because it seems like he wasn’t raised that way. I on the other hand for his birthday make a HUGE (only close friends and family that live close, his own family never comes) brunch with his birthday cake and all. I don’t do one form myself but my family comes over and give me my cake and mom cooks me a nice meal.
    I guess what I’m trying to say that just because you were raised in one way doesn’t mean you can’t change it. When it comes to Islam, I don’t think you are doing anything wrong because your intention isn’t going against Allah (SWT). You are just celebrating someone’s birth…. I’m sorry it is so long I just wanted to make sure I conveyed my opinion. lol..

    Like

    • On the contrary, Latina, I enjoyed the explanation. I have questions though: 1. Do you feel slighted that your husband doesn’t celebrate your birthday? 2. So, when you have children, will you celebrate their birthdays or not?

      Liked by 1 person

      • 1. I don’t feel slighted he doesn’t do anything. He might not make a huge deal like me but he does make sure he spoils me that day.. i.e. treating me to dinner, writing me a thoughtful card. 2. I told him that yes Insha”Allah when we have children and if we can afford it I want to give our children those memories. He grumbles about it but I know we will jump on it. He loves it when I make a big deal for him so I’m sure he will be al for it when the children come.

        I think of it as we adults have had the experience that our parents gave us ( even if we like it or not) it is up to us to make sure we give our children (financial if possible) the same or better memories when they grow as adults. Do you know think back of the awesome birthdays you had as a child and wish you could give the same to your children? Isn’t that one aspect of being a parent? Not just spoiling but to give them memories so when we are not there anymore they have found memories of us as parents and their childhood…

        Like

  4. I totally believe in giving children the best memories they can have because that’s all they have left of us when we’re no more. I’m just unsure if I want the memories to revolve around celebrating their birthdays.

    Like

  5. yinka says:

    I’m not out for a big celebration but a gift just to acknowledge d day is fine by me. My son’s 1st bday is ard d corner n I’m just thinking of wat to do but wud luv to make it special in sha Allah.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s