This, here, is a medical advice. And free too. So let me cut straight to the bone.
A lot of women have had induced abortions, a lot more are contemplating having, and many more will perform them. It is very sad that Muslims are among this group of women. Don’t you dare think it’s just the single women because it is very common amongst married women particularly for the sake of Hajj, subhanallah.
I will start by laying the blame on us parents.
No one expects you as a parent to encourage your daughter to get knocked up but when she does and you are the one bringing her in to request an abortion, it’s just plain sad and disheartening. It is bad enough that she committed fornication. Worse is that, if she does get knocked up, she wouldn’t dare to tell us about it, indeed, we are often the last to know. Why? Because, they are scared we will judge them instead of help them through the phase.
It is not something to wear as a badge of honour especially if your daughter is a teen but I bet you that, in a couple of years, we will be proud of our grandchild.
In Nigeria, induced abortions are not legal unless the mother’s life is at stake or for other medical reasons. Most doctors who perform this procedure, often called a D&C, MVA or Evacuation, are merely looking for a quick buck. Others who do this are not doctors but other medical personnel who acquired the skill via apprenticeship. Needless to say complications often follow this procedure if done by unskilled hands.
Years later, these ladies flood fertility centres, with their husbands in tow seeking to conceive. Some do get away with repeated abortions and go on to get married and conceive, but how sure are you that your case will be like theirs?
If Allah blesses you with a child, it is never a mistake. It is a beautiful gift irrespective of the timing and whether it is within or outside wedlock.
The best outcomes of such cases I have seen are when the girl is allowed to deliver the baby and continue with her education while her mother helps raise the baby. These girls often go on to become pillars in their families. 2 wrongs don’t make a right. The girl has erred and there is no point in making things worse.
It is really so sad the incidence of premarital sex and adultery even amongst us Muslims. Women are often served the short end of the stick in terms of sexually transmitted infections, tubal blockage, pregnancies and the complications associated with it, so it really confuses me why we allow ourselves fall prey.
I will share a story with you tomorrow in sha Allah.