UNWORTHY Q5.07

Assalam alaykum, dear people.

It is good to be back! I had the intention of resuming with a post on Sitta Shawwal but I decided otherwise due to an experience I had on Friday.

My maternity leave was over and I resumed duty on Friday being the first day of the month. My mind was unsettled as I had lots of worries about what the new working schedule would be since another doctor had been employed to take my place. I feared I would have to take calls despite nursing. Perhaps, I would have to share my salary with the new doctor. Would my son be comfortable in the new environment? Would I be allowed to continue bringing him till he’s at least 6 months so I can exclusively breastfeed? Would his babysitter co-operate with me considering the new arrangement? I even entertained fears of the staff not being welcoming.

I know. It makes no sense to worry. But I worried anyway. Fear of the unknown.

Then, the day came and I resumed with trepidation only for all my fears to melt away as Allah made it all easy. Our new schedule was arranged and I settled back into my job like an old glove fits comfortably. The staff seemed truly excited to see me and the baby and I was very happy at the end of the day. So, why did I worry anyway?
SUPPLICATION
That night, when I knelt in supplication, I was speechless, humbled and ashamed. Speechless at how wonderful Allah is and how order is restored at His Command. Humbled that He made me feel such love from the staff being a lone Muslim among Christians. Ashamed that I had worried and that He chose to favour me even though I did not deserve it.

He has elevated me in the eyes of people to such a status that I do not deserve. I am unworthy of His Mercy and Kindness but He blesses me anyway. It was such a myriad of emotions I had that night but eventually, all I said were words of gratitude.
I pray that Allah continues to cover our faults in the eyes of people and helps both Muslims and non-Muslims view us in a good light. May He make us better than people imagine us to be and may He continue to pardon our deficiencies.

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